Losing control to gain it
Posted on December 18, 2008
It’s no secret that the newly diagnosed or newly disabled have trouble accepting their new problem. It is widely known and even accepted. The hardest part to accept for a newly disabled person, is the lack of control in their life.
This is often met by the disabled person seeking to die Since they feel they are helpless. They often ask a family member for help. This will often cause a moral crises in the loved one or friend.
They love the injured one, they truly want what’s best for them At the same time, they don’t want to do something which is truly objectionable to them, but they understand the feelings of their loved one.
Take for example , the recent case of British resident Terry James. Mr. James was a soccer player. After being injured, he repeatedly asked his parents to help him to die.
Now, any parent wants the best for their son. After all ,they gave him life. They watched school plays, school sports. They want him to live. How do you watch your child suffer though? Or watch your best friend suffer?
A quad (didn’t have control of any of his four limbs) had expressed his frustration and desire to die. In an effort to interest him in life, he was introduced to skydiving. He was suspended below the wing, being cranked out on a winch.
He was solely responsible for pulling his own ripcord with his teeth. The result was not a giant mess. The result? The person who could not easily move anything felt invigorated. For the first time in a long time, he really felt like his life was back in his own control.
Now I am not suggesting that we suspend those newly injured 2-3,000 feet high, below an airplane wing. What I am suggesting is that we find a way of giving them back the control any human being needs to feel .
Since directing their lives as they had known them, just is not totally possible any more, I submit to you, not only a feeling of loss of control, but the grieving of a loss of a way of life.
To a controlling individual, it is a big loss. A loss that many are not capable of taking. I submit we don’t just accept that, but try to find other areas in which to restore complete control. These areas can be sports, or ownership of an animal. What do you think? Any ideas for something that will restore control?
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Taking your pleasures where you can
Posted on December 13, 2008
You’ve got 30 million things to do, you’re stressed out, you’ve got to face your Great Aunt at Christmas dinner, money is tight. AAAhhh! How do you keep a smile on your face?
By taking your pleasures where you can. We all have little things in life which seem to give us almost a perverse pleasure. Playing a practical joke, taking your kids to the park, taking your dog for a walk. Something!
I must really be a sick puppy. Our town used to have a big Halloween celebration. It was known nationwide. Basically they would officially close the main street uptown and it was roamed by drunk, costumed residents (along with many visiting drunks).
I just happened to pick that year not to drink, As I had been to the celebration in the past and gotten quite wasted, trying to not drink and still have fun was a challenge. I was driving a three-wheeled scooter at the time.
I went to the top of the closed off street, filled with costumed revelers, turned my headlight on, laid on the horn, and drove down the middle of the street at a rapid rate…
To me, it was as amusing as all get out. Drunks diving for cover in alternating pairs. Kinda like a choreographed water ballet. Now that gave me pleasure.
Or, I really like horseback riding. One reason is that for once people are looking up to me instead of me looking at their beltbuckle. You take small pleasures where you can get them.
What is it that you enjoy? What makes your day or takes your mind away from your problems? What do you do?
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How to determine what you really want from life
Posted on December 10, 2008
That’s a 95 dollar question. If your disabled, you have come to the conclusion that the powers that be (GOD) want you around a while longer but what next?
People spend the majority of their lives zoned out on the latest t.v. shows. They are so worried about what they should do, they don’t see what they could do. Ways of determining what to do with your life:
Look into your heart open your mind to the possibilities. Too often we think we should do this or that, We let logic rule our hearts. Understandable in this day and age. To prevent this from happening think about it, but pretend to put your head on a table at the back of the room. Now what does your gut and heart say?
This is the real you. Usually what your heart says just feels right. This is often your passion- what you like to do, what your good at. Your passion is what you do well at with supreme effort. Remember (God) or the powers that be seem to support those that are following destiny or their passion
Don’t forget your head back on that table. You will have need of it in getting to follow your passion. Mankind was blessed with both a head and a heart. He truly thrives more when able to use both together. You must learn to balance the two.
Live in the head and one cannot experience the true range of life. Living in the heart will make you display poor judgment. Hard to say which I do.
Listen to your instinct. It is often right. Instincts are the little voice within you that guide and instruct you. No, I’m not talking schizophrenic here. Some cultures call it God. The new Age label would be your authentic self. You would do best to follow what your instinct tells you.
Sometimes people who know us that have strong personalities, try to tell us what to do. Out of Love. Respect (probably both) We tend to listen to what they say. But by not listening to our instincts we stifle ourselves.
Listen to them but not only them. Remember it is your destiny. To reach their full potential, a person needs to be true to themselves. Follow their own heart and destiny. It is only in this way they reach greatness.
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The Good and Bad about living wills
Posted on December 8, 2008
We all know the importance of this, If your disabled you often think about possibilities. We always put it off though until ”tomorrow”-me included. We are afraid we might jinx ourselves. But its important to make decisions and to have all the information before you do.
Basically a living will is to guide medical decisions to your wishes should you ever become incapable of being able to decide. Your decision should include if you want cardiac or respiratory revival. Also indicate about your desires about tube feeding.
There are good and bad points to a living will. There are good points and bad points to living wills. Among the good points.
· A living will is generally written with loose terminology, not real concise. It is done this way so it can apply no matter what the situation. The loose terminology is for your benefit. Without a living will you are in a pickle. When you get admitted to the hospital they always ask you if you have one.
· Though it differs from stat to state a living will require the signature of two witnesses. Some states even require a notary public. It is considered a legal document, and therefore a representative of your wishes.
In the case of non existence of a living will the judge will generally appoint someone to represent your wishes. This may cause possible dissent among family members and usually bad feelings as the stress of wanting to do things the way you would want them , begins to take its toll.
If you have drafted a living will, the tension is eased among family members and you have greater peace of mind. Life can be unpredictable.
As long as you are legal and have established your mental capacity, you can make your wishes known to a health provider. To be prepared is better than not.
Some of the bad points about living wills-
· Since they use such general language terms there are a wide range of possible interpretation, in talking about living wills the tendency is to define it in broad terms more than narrower.
· There night be differences between how you would define a situation. And how a doctor does.
Since living wills are not enacted except if someone is incapacitated or had a terminal diagnosis, Doctors can manipulate the outcome. This is a situation that can be manipulated by doctors. I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Remember the good and bad points to a living will. On the good maybe they will find a cure for what’s wrong with you
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Ideas for X-mas on a shoestring budget
Posted on November 28, 2008
Thanksgiving is over and I made a pig of myself. If I had an apple in my mouth , I would be pork ready to be served with garnishes.
If your like me, it is impossible to buy X-mas presents for all, and survive on a limited income. Over the years I have developed some practices that make it easier. Do not wait until November or December, then try to buy for everyone.
Over the whole year, buy 1 or 2 gifts a month. This does not seem to break the bank if I plan carefully. You might want to wait longer for any little kids on your list. They are swayed more by current trends. Something you got for them in July would still be a present, but they might think the latest thing was swifter.
Besides, it brings a little Christmas in July so it can really be fun. It also relieves the stress that comes from trying to make sure you got every body on your list.
If I am not tearing open the present in a frenzy, I save the paper for next year. At the very least I save the ribbons and bows on any package. I don’t waste money on present tags either.I cut out a piece of extra scrap of the scrap leftover wrapping paper. I carefully label to and from. That works-at least the spirit of Christmas yet to come has not filed her complaint yet.
Cookies should not be left out as a possible gift to neighbors, teachers or the mailman. Ingredients not perishable should be bought slowly over time,, so as to not bring undue financial burden on Nov. or Dec. A piece of bread sealed in a container of hard cookies will soften them up again. They will be more prone to return to their hardened state though.
Perhaps the biggest thing I do to help save on X-mas is to
make my own presents. I like to try and be crafty. Problem
is, I have adult taste’s and the talent of a three year old. The year I made candles was a big hit. However I found out later the way I did it was not too safe. I can’t very well tell you that
Ideally you should be slowly making things year round. I do tell myself every year I am going to do that. I find myself again at a loss for a project, if you have any ideas, leave them in comments or email them to me.
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Extended family
Posted on November 27, 2008
I wanted to wish everybody the very best holiday. May you eat so much, you need to unbutton the top of your pants as you push away from the table. Between now and Christmas, may you see all you friends and family.
Take it from me, while they are still around, while you are still around, tell them you love them. No one has expressed regret about telling their family they loved them too much or too often.
That brings me to today’s topic. I will try to keep this shorter since you probably have more to do than read my blog. I wanted to talk about gratefulness and being with our extended family.
Now, many of you are unable to be with family today, that need not be a cataclysm, Our family is who we say it is, You don’t have to have the same DNA. Often we can have just as fine holiday with those we love that are not related to us. Let’s face3 it, it would be good not to have to worry about Aunt Sue.
Or that bad habit your cousin Phil has of sucking his teeth. It drives you crazy, but you only got to live with it once a year. Instead bask in the warmth of your extended family.
So to extended family everywhere and to my extended family , HAPPY THANKSGIVING
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Machine vs. unconditional love or beast vs, machine
Posted on November 25, 2008
Today is our day for discussing service dogs I was going to discuss the kind of training they have. We will still do that but next week. This week I want to talk about something in the news that has occurred about service dogs. I’ll tell you the story and you can tell me how you feel about it.
With the homecoming of an expected increased need by disabled vets returning from Iraq and the middle east, the supply of service dogs is considered a problem. Both, a two year training schedule, and training costs dipping into the double digits was resulting in waiting lists 2-4 years long.
Enter Charlie Kemp. Both the owner of a service dog, and an Information Technology (IT) scholar at Georgia Tech. In view of resulting problems in acquiring service dogs, Charlie created a robotic device to parrot the tasks of service dogs.
It is thought the creation of such a device , will help alleviate the current need for service dogs. The device knows about ten commands, is directed by laser pointer, and responds to voice.It opens and shuts doors, and drawers with the aid of an attached towel.
Now as far as I am concerned there is both good and bad points to this. I think it good as a “stop gap” way of fulfilling service dog needs until more can be trained. I think having more machinery to have maintenance on, is going to be a non-productive thing before too long.
While a machine would alleviate the need to take it out and feed it, a machine cannot replicate the love and bond existing between dog and disabled owner. There are psychological benefits to having a dog. Benefits needed by vets with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
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I have seen people totally changed by a warm, furry creature giving them unconditional love. Even those previously disenchanted with canine’s. What do you think?
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How to move outside your comfort zone
Posted on November 23, 2008
As people with a disability we are more comfortable living “out of the Limelight”. We find comfort in obscurity, and just in the background. Often in crowds we think we are better seen and not heard. So to grow as individuals we need to step out of our comfort Zone.
So you might be thinking. just what is our comfort zone.? It is an area inside ourselves, surrounded by our boundaries. Therefore it is the most comfortable area to be in. That’s why the name “comfort zone”.
As we navigate the obstacle course called life, we have opportunities for growth. These often involve stepping outside your comfort zone. Now as humans we don’t like change. Change is uncomfortable for us.
So we do not often change until the pain of not changing far exceeds the pain of change. If your stubborn , like me and even try harder not to change, you could be in for a world of hurt. This is the case in the destructive habit. Often we don’t see clearly.
Since it represents individual growth, moving outside your comfort zone is- well ‘uncomfortable” but necessary. Generally, the benefits can be huge , though at the time it sure doesn’t feel like it.
You might not want to push the ‘boundaries” of everything and frankly, I don’t blame you.You might not want to push a moral issue,or the time limit before curfew given to teenage kids. However I might want to change that ‘destructive “ habit or the always cluttered desk.
Like I always leave a box still packed, even though I have lived here over 11 years. That is my comfort zone, but maybe I will unpack a box this afternoon.
How do we do this when we are a society that does not want to rock the boat? Simply identify an area you wish to grow further in. Simply do “more” of it until you no longer feel comfortable. Then you have broke out of yourt “comfort zone”.
So what does this all mean to people with disabilities?
Well, we need to take chances and move outside of our comfort zone. move beyond the place of not being seen or heard and open our trap.
While it might feel very strange right now, the benefits to us and other people are immeasurable. Does anyone have a situation they want to break thru their comfort zones.
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And the answer is….
Posted on November 21, 2008
In an effort that you get to know more about me and maybe ,me know you.. I an publishing this survey
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Five names you go by: 1. Suzanne 2 . Susan 3.Sue 4. Zane 5. Z Three things you are wearing right now: 1. jeans 2. Headband 3 a burgundy coat-go saluki’s Two things you want very badly at the moment: 1. Health 2. To be accepted
Three people who will probably fill this out: 1 ? 2. ? 3. Hopefully someone will read it Two things you did last night: 1. moved my computer to a warmer area 2. Passed out in front of the computer while deleting spam
Two things you ate today: 1. cookies 2. coffee (does that count?)
Two people you last talked to on the phone: 1. Wyatt 2. Suzanne(my attendant) Two things you are going to do tomorrow: 1. Babysit some monsters nice little boys-energetic 2. Write in my blog
Two longest car rides: 1.From Ca to Nevada and back down to Arizona 2. To ST. Louis to have surgery
Two of your favorite beverages: 1. Water 2. Did I mention coffee?
Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do …. and please do not spoil the fun. Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.
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The multi-tasking service dog
Posted on November 18, 2008
I have been hit hard by the spam monster. I have trouble believing that all these people want to spam. I guess I’ll just start putting their IP address on the internet. Some irate person can spare some loose virus”
This is our time for continuing the series we started on service dogs. If you remember, we talked about how service dogs are all covered under the huge umbrella of assistance dogs
We had talked about the various uses of the service animal
I intend today to discuss the different types of service animals. Most of these pictures are referenced. These organizations are worthy of your support. At least take a gander at the website.
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1. Hearing dogs-
Heaaring dog at work
These dogs tend to be the smaller dogs and might or might not be a mixed breed. They are chosen to mix with the personality of the owner. The dog’s purpose is to let its master know when the alarm clock goes off, smoke alarm knock at the door or the baby crying. They either take the place of or augment human hearing
2. Guide animal (horse dog)-
Takes the place of their owner’s sight. These amazing animals learn that they must extend their of responsibility to include the human counterpart.
guide horse at work
3.Therapy dog
These dogs frequent hospitals, nursing homes and hospice centers. Through acts of caring for the dog, patients are able to interact with animals and duplicate motions and emotions necessary upon release. Or the interaction with the animal, brings no small joy to their life.
4.Service Dog
A girl and her dog
This dog often augments or takes the place of physical action such as pulling the wheelchair. Getting on and off public transportation. It holds open doors, gets in the frig, opens drawers and turns light switches on and off.
5. Specialty dog
Any combination of any of the above categories
6.Skilled companion dog
Usually a dog trained to be a service dog but is matched with a younger owner, lacking the maturity to work solo with a dog but still able to benefit from the match.
As you can see man has been gaining from the match of these beautiful dogs to needy humans. Well talk some more next Tues. about the creatures
.Photo credits Hearing dog guidehorse 1 and 2 service dog
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